


Ho-el Killer

by sugargay



Category: Tiny Meat Gang, Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Porn, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, based off one of noel's tweets, cody and noel are kinda OCC because i dont know how to write them yet, kinda?? its A LITTLE angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-08 07:15:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14689155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugargay/pseuds/sugargay
Summary: Marcus, he does this awkward kind of laugh. “If you think I know any racially ambiguous people that happen to be in the porn industry, you’re sadly mistaken.”Needless to say, Cody doesn’t get any further in his quest to find out who the real ‘Ho-el Killer’ is.AKA the one where noel's lowkey a porn star and cody's got a big, stupid crush on him





	Ho-el Killer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smallghostkid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallghostkid/gifts).



> HAPPY BDAY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope this ends up being as good as you hoped it was !!!! 
> 
> also if anyone sends this to cody or noel or anyone associated to them imma beat y'all up fr like please dont blow my spot up like that THANK YOU

Something that everyone always rags Cody on is the fact that he pays attention to the worst and most useless things in the planet. For example- he and Kelsey were watching that “Him & I” music video, and all Cody could pay attention to was the way that Halsey’s jaw moved. Even though that has nothing to do with anything! He’s the worst at remembering important things but he’ll remember the continuity errors in the MCU or, like… the fact that they switched out the actress in Fresh Prince and now he can’t watch it because everything’s all _wrong_.

There’s a point here.

Cody _knows_ who the porn star on his screen is. Even though what he’s _supposed_ to be paying attention to are the _dicks_. Duh. That’s why they’re there, right in view.

“Move over!” Cody practically yells at his computer, at the dick on his computer, because the face behind the dick is out of focus and he needs to know who it is. It’s different than it just being another porn star, because they all blend into each other, the weird tattoo placements (he saw a Pikachu one once, over the surface of some dude’s ass), and the generic looking faces and hair-dos, but this guy is different. And it’s not just because Cody can’t tell what race he is, he swears. Although, what the hell _is_ that guy…

 _“You think you deserve to get your dick sucked? That’s cute,_ ” the guy darkly laughs on Cody’s screen, before he wraps his fist around the other dude’s dick. Cody has to shut his eyes shut for a moment. God, that’s hot. His own cock, which has been half-hard this entire time, twitches in his boxers, so he shoves a hand in his underwear and squeezes around the base, just to hold himself off for a moment.

Cody opens his eyes again, and the guy’s tongue is all over the other dude’s dick. He’s looking up at the other dude with a sultry look that shoots right through Cody’s body and tickles down his spine and Cody vaguely remembers the title of the video. **RACIALLY AMBIGUOUS GUY FUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF WHITE TWINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Cody has to close his eyes again, just to will the image of this guy fucking the soul out of _him_ away.

“FUCK MY LIFE,” Cody shouts, banging his hand on the side of his bed before he runs it through his hair and pulls it tightly. He can’t stop thinking about who the guy is and he knows, he just knows, that it’s gonna haunt him. Not only because this guy is ridiculously hot, but because he looks so fucking familiar. Maybe he’s the guy from Starbucks… no, fuck, maybe he’s from the job?

“No,” Cody says to himself out-loud, “you fucking goddamn moron, how can he be from the job, when—goddammit!”

He opens his laptop back up, quickly enters his password, presses play, and just jerks off instead, since this is proving to be useless. He’s starting a new job tomorrow and he can’t be late, but it doesn’t take long for him to come. The ‘racially ambiguous’ guy is behind the ‘white twink’, who’s on his knees, and he’s fucking into him so hard, and his hands are on the ‘white twink’’s side, and they’re both groaning loud enough for Cody to turn his volume down, and in no time, Cody’s coming over his fist and into the waiting tissue. He cleans himself up lazily, throws the dirty tissue on the floor, bookmarks the page, shuts his computer off, makes sure his alarm is set, and he sleeps.

* * *

Since Marcus happens to be working at the same place Cody’s starting, they carpool. They’re drinking lukewarm coffee and talking about some dumb picture that Sam posted last night of him doing body shots off of some college girls, before Cody interrupts, suddenly. “Do we know, like, any… racially ambiguous people?”

Marcus raises his eyebrows.

“Um. Dude. _What_?”

“I’m not being racist!” Cody throws his hands up, and Marcus turns and gives him a passive sort of look, since they’re at a stop-light.

“Cody, I feel like you can’t say _‘I’m not racist’_ in defense of something racist. But no… I don’t think- I don't understand your question! Do you mean someone mixed...?”

“No, I mean someone that you can’t really… pinpoint? I don’t know… there was this guy in this porn and it’s bothering the _fuuuuck_ out of me. I was jerking it and I couldn’t even focus on the actual fucking, just this dude’s face.”

Marcus, he does this awkward kind of laugh. “If you think I know any racially ambiguous people that happen to be in the porn industry, you’re sadly mistaken.”

Needless to say, Cody doesn’t get any further in his quest to find out who the real ‘Ho-el Killer’ is. He just pouts, turns the radio up and continues to sulk quietly as that stupid Halsey and G-Eazy song plays on the radio. Fuck Halsey and her weird ass jaw, because that’s all he can think about now.

* * *

Cody’s been to the Fullscreen building before, so walking in is no surprise to him, but the shininess of it, how sleek the building design is, everything is still so fucking cool. Paired with the fact that he doesn’t have to come in until 10 in the morning, as opposed to the usual 8:30, and Cody feels like he’s kind of in heaven. He takes some of the free snacks that were offered to him, he meets briefly with his boss as Marcus goes to take his seat, and then an assistant shows Cody to his desk. It’s small and crowded in with the other desks next to him, but he still smiles and thanks him all the same.

“You’re new, right?” The person next to him whispers as soon as Cody sits down, and Cody raises his eyebrows. _Did they not just see him get walked to his desk…?_

“Jake, you absolute _moron_ ,” a voice in front in Cody replies before Cody can, and Cody turns to look at who it is. The person, he’s hiding behind his laptop and he doesn't look up. “Did you _not_ just see Eric walk him over to his desk.”

“I’m just asking!” Jake, Cody’s neighbor, hisses to the guy. “Making small talk. Whatever. More than what _you’re_ doing.”

The guy sighs, and looks up from his computer.

And Cody’s eyes widen.

And **_Ho-el Killer’_** s eyes widen too.

“Oh my God, you’re-” _Ho-el Killer_ tries to say, but he’s coming up empty. Cody’s mostly just frozen in place because _oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my GOD._

But how the fuck does he know _Ho-el Killer_ if he’s meeting him for the first time?! How the fuck does _Ho-el Killer_ know Cody if he’s meeting HIM for the first time too?!

“And you’re...!” Cody sputters, because he’s not sure if he can just shout out **_THE GUY THAT I JERKED OFF TO LAST NIGHT!_**

“Vine!” Ho-el whisper shouts, and **OH SHIT?**

Cody can suddenly place where he’s seen that face before.

**_SKINNY PENIS._ **

HO-EL KILLER IS SKINNY PENIS.

 _No he’s not,_ Cody thinks to himself briefly. _That dick was not skinny_. _That was a **thick** dick._

“Skinny penis!” Cody blurts out, and Ho-el laughs sheepishly, avoiding the confused look from Jake. “Yeah, that would be me… you’re… Co...dy? Right? I’m Noel.”

Noel. _Ho-el_. Cody’s sure his heart is about to beat right out of his fucking heart.

“Yeah,” Cody hesitantly says after a moment. “Yeah… I’m, I’m Cody.”

“And I’m Noel,” Noel _(HO-EL)_ repeats, and then he laughs. “Wow, dude. Small world, huh…”

“Yeah, definitely…”

Images enter his head at the speed of sound. The look on Noel’s face before he sucked that guy’s dick, Noel’s dick in that guy’s ass, Noel’s hands, Noel’s hands that are wrapped around his water bottle right, Noel’s hands that Cody’s now picturing around his cock…

“So, you guys make vines? Isn’t that for little kids?” Jake asks, _snickers_ , and Noel rolls his eyes and goes back to his work.

And Cody starts his.

And that’s that… Cody guesses.

* * *

He and Noel walk together to the parking lot. Not Cody’s idea. Definitely not his idea. Not because he doesn't.... He’s not judging Noel, honestly. It’s just that… he jerked off to Noel. He imagined himself on his knees getting fucked by Noel last night and now they’re working side by side and Noel doesn’t know that Cody knows, and it’s just so strange. And the fact that Noel is SKINNY PENIS. That’s weird too. Leave it to Cody to fixate on the porn star in the video he watched last night because he couldn’t remember that he was _‘ahahaha ayyyy it’s ya boy’._

“So… how’re you enjoying the job?” Noel asks, and when Cody gives him a strange sort of look, a ‘It was the first day, how else was it supposed to go?’ kind of look, Noel glances away sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m not good at the small-talk thing.”

“It’s fine,” Cody reassures him. “Me neither. And it was fine. Jake’s fucking annoying though. He’s like, one of those programming nerds that are literally _itching_ for something to do.”

Noel laughs loudly, and it echoes around the parking lot, surrounds Cody like a warm blanket. “Dude, yes! He does a favor for someone and he’s literally cuming over himself. Like-”

Noel mimics a moan, and it sounds so similar to the sounds that Cody heard last night that it practically gives him whiplash. _“Ohhhhh yeah, harder, give me something harder to do!_ Like okay, fuckass, we get it, you’re way better than the rest of us at our job. Shut the fuck up.”

Cody downright giggles at Noel’s joke, and once he’s somewhat calmed down, Noel asks, “So, are you still doing Vine, or…?”

“Dude, you should see the ideas in my phone,” Cody says, and Noel hums. “So, no.”

“Oh, absolutely not.” Cody laughs. “Everything I wanna do just kinda falls to shit… or is just not funny. Or, my roommates get mad that I’m yelling at my phone for 6 seconds over and over again…”

Noel, he stops at his car in the parking lot. “Once you need a cameraman for a fucking Vine, that’s when you know you’re fucked. Here, give me your phone? Maybe we can collab sometime.”

“Are we _actually_ gonna collab?” Cody asks, pulling his phone out. He hands it over to Noel, and the whole **PORN STAR** thing returns to him suddenly when Noel’s fingers brush against his. The fingers that he dreamt would be inside of him…

“Probably not,” Noel says, putting his number in Cody’s phone before he hands it back. “But text me anyways.”

* * *

Cody texts him five minutes later to see if he wants to meet up for dinner. Noel says he’s busy moonlighting, and he adds a “:/“ to his text. This seems too seamless, too easy. Like there’s no way Noel can hide this from everyone when all of the evidence is out there in plain sight. Even his porn _name_ is similar to his actual name. It all seems so sketchy and strange, like Cody’s living in alternate universe. But he knows that face, he recognizes Noel’s fingers, Noel’s smile… even the fucking _voice_ is the same!

And goddammit, Cody’s got an office crush on a guy who happens to be a porn star

* * *

It’s five days before Cody caves. He never claimed to be a good person, but right now, as he types Noel’s … _alternate_ name into the search bar of the amateur website he frequents for porn, he feels like a downright shitty one.

It’s five days of Noel being incredibly funny and charming and flirty. _God_ , Noel’s been flirty. It gets under Cody’s skin in a good way, not in a _‘this is making me extremely uncomfortable way’_ but in an _‘I’m so fucking awkward and can’t flirt back because somehow, right now, at this very moment, I have lost the ability to form sentences and don’t even know what speaking English means!’._

But right now, he just feels like a dick. And he’s also feeling up his dick.

He clicks on the first video he finds since his guilty conscience stops him from scrolling further. The title isn’t appetizing, **‘RACIALLY AMBIGUOUS GUY KILLS THE HOLE OF SUGAR BABY’** , and it sounds downright brutal, but Cody clicks on it anyways, thinking to himself that Noel was clever for giving his porn star name a double meaning. _Aw, Noel is so smart..._

And although the video is hot, Noel’s whispering pure filth into his ‘sugar baby’’s ear as he fucks him earnestly, whispers that microphones catch like… like ASMR, so Noel’s “ _such a little whore for me, huh? So fucking tight for me, but maybe we can try to fit my finger in as well, you want that, you slut? Of course you do, come on, say it louder for me baby’_ give Cody these tingles that he feels throughout his body, even though the video is the perfect material to get Cody off, Cody’s dick stays limp.

Guilt settles in the middle of his chest- it’s heavy and it makes itself known. Mostly because the person on his screen isn’t Ho-el Killer anymore, it’s Noel, it’s Noel that gives him these sleepy lazy grins when Cody makes fun of Jake, it’s Noel that laughs super hard at Cody’s stupid ass jokes, it’s his _friend_.

And even though he’s got a stupid crush on his friend, it’s still a friend! He feels so… exploitive, kinda. He’s cashing in on Noel’s secret. Not even, he’s fucking _revelling_ in it. The guilt in his chest switches out and disgust with himself takes its place.

* * *

They’re all sitting at lunch when Cody pulls his Go-Pro out.

Marcus audibly groans upon seeing it. “Dude.  Our conversation is not funny enough that you should feel obligated to document it for your _vlogs_.”

Noel looks up from eating his burrito bowl at _‘vlogs’_.

“You make vlogs?” Noel asks. “That’s kinda gay.”

“Well, I _am_ gay,” Cody says, with an eye-roll. “Aren’t you?”

“Where did you get that idea from?” Noel asks, and there’s no real hostility behind it, but it’s enough to set Cody back a little. _He got that idea from watching Noel fuck guys. In porn. That Noel doesn’t know Cody has watched._

“I… I… well, I don't know, I-” Cody stutters, before Noel gives him a shit-eating grin. “Cody. Kidding. I’m bisexual. That obvious?”

“Well… I have gay-dar,” Cody grumbles, and he doesn’t miss the look on Marcus’s face. The confused-but-I’m-working-on-figuring-it-out-as-we-speak look. “Anyways, vlogs _are_ gay, but they’re a lot easier than vines.”

“Never thought my life was interesting enough for them,” Noel says, before he rests his face on his hand, his elbow on the table. “So, go ahead. Do your gay vlog thing.”

“Well now it’s just fucking awkward,” Cody says, and Noel shakes his head, using his free hand to grab his soda. He slurps on his drink loudly and obnoxiously and then he says, “I’m used to being on camera, I can improvise something real quick.”

Cody’s eyes widen at the comment about being on camera.

Marcus interjects suddenly. “We could talk about how no one fucking knows Noel’s ethnicity.”

Cody’s eyes widen… again. Marcus catches it, and he slurps on his drink too. A _‘I think I found your guy’_ kind of slurp. He shouldn’t be able to read people’s slurps like that... but this is Marcus.

Noel laughs, nodding his consent to their vlog topic. “Dude, get the camera going. I could go off about this shit for days, people catch a glance at a mixed kid and suddenly everyone’s from Ancestry.com. One time someone said I was Indian? Crazy...”

Marcus grins at Cody around his straw. Cody looks away and turns his camera on.

* * *

“So, I think I found your guy,” Marcus says to Cody once they get in the car.

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” Cody says, staring straight ahead. “I know. How’d you even fucking remember that question?”

“Because how could I forget about that question?”

Cody doesn’t reply. He just turns the stupid Halsey and G-Eazy song playing on the radio down.

“So… what’re you gonna do about it?” Marcus pipes up again, to fill the silence.

“Absolutely nothing?”

“Cody…”

“What?! What would you do if your… your fuckin’... not a crush, okay, not a fucking crush, not-- what would you do? _Huh_?”

The rest of the Halsey and G-Eazy song carries out without anyone in the car saying a word. Then a firetruck passes and Cody makes a _‘guess they found my mixtape’_ joke that has Marcus pressing his head into the car horn. And then everything returns back to normal.

Sorta.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, all of Cody’s subscribers _love_ Noel. To the point where they want Noel to just take over Cody’s entire channel all together. Cody, he reads the comments and he doesn’t like them because then it’s just a dead _‘I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH!’_ giveway, but he laughs at them and silently agrees, even if they make him a little sad since everyone likes Noel more than him. He can’t really blame them though…

“Do you read the comments?” Cody asks, as they move up the Starbucks line. “They’d be such a fuckin’ ego booster.”

“Do I read _your_ comments?” Noel asks, sliding his hand in his back pocket to grab his wallet. “Is it embarrassing if I say yes? I just love seeing the comments where they roast the absolute shit out of you.”

“I’m not that old! I don’t look that fuckin’ old either!” Cody yells, a little louder than he should, and Noel laughs louder too. “Nah, nah, I love the ones that are like, that are like ‘So nice of the racially ambiguous volunteer to keep this senile old fuck company in his last days’”

“Yeah, I don’t know why race is always a factor in those comments,” Cody says, and Noel gives him a half-hearted shrug. “It always is.”

Cody thinks about all of the titles in Noel’s pornos in bold- **RACIALLY AMBIGUOUS GUY-** and then he blushes a little. Yeah, it really is.

“Are you gonna get the same gay drink that you always-“ Cody tries to say, before Noel interrupts him, speaking to the barista behind the counter since they’ve moved up the line. With dyed pink hair and about a billion pins on his apron with a central theme of _rainbow_ , Cody’s about 1000% sure that this guy is gay. The barista, he frowns a little at Cody’s comment, but he nods as Noel says, “yeah, uh, can I get a small iced caramel macchiato?”

“I’m not homophobic,” Cody juts in, just as the barista scribbles Noel’s order on a cup. “Just, by the way. I’m a, I’m a _gay_ , I’m **_GAY_**! So, y’know, just so you know, like I _totally_ have taken it up the—”

“Stop talking,” Noel says to him, in that same dominant voice that he uses in his… adult films, and instead of just Cody’s eyes widening, the barista’s eyes widen too. His eyes widen like he recognizes that voice too.

“Holy _shit_ ,” the barista gasps, a hand slapping over his mouth in disbelief. Between the spaces of his fingers, Cody hears him whisper, “You’re… you’re-“

And Cody knows what he’s going to say, he sees it all over his face. He’s not facing Noel but he hears his sharp inhale and he feels afraid for him. So, he does the only thing he can think of, which is to make himself look like a fucking fool.

“ _SKINNY PENIS_!” Cody shrieks, definitely catching the attention of almost everyone in the store _. “AHAHAHA, IT’S YA BOY!”_

“Oh my God,” Noel blinks, turning to look at Cody. “ _Dude_.”

And even though Noel looks beyond embarrassed to be standing next to Cody, Cody can read body language pretty well, and he can tell that Noel was relieved. When Cody turns to look at the barista, he’s long gone, with his back-turned. In his place, a girl with curly hair who literally can’t help but laugh as she asks Cody what he would like to order.

And as literally _horrifying_ as that all was, it was worth it. Maybe not because anything Noel said, as he relentlessly made fun of Cody the whole walk back to work, but in his actions. Like the deep exhale when the other barista gave him his drink (with her number attached, which sort of made Cody’s blood boil) because he didn’t have to look at the guy again and have his identity revealed.

Silently, Cody wonders why Noel cares so much if he doesn’t hide the fact that he likes porn from anyone. Or why Noel is so openly sexual about things. But maybe it’s his mind, playing tricks on him. Because he knows this secret about Noel and he can draw the lines between what Noel says and connect it to the porn, in a way that no one else can.

It’s not a new thought, but Cody wishes he never knew about the videos.

* * *

Cody goes through the comments on his new video as he drinks his morning coffee. It’s like reading the news but not because instead of learning something useful, he just gets _‘ISN’T CODY TOO OLD FOR YOUTUBE XD. GET OFF THE COMPUTER GRANDPA DON’T YOU HAVE SOME DYING TO DO?’_ over and over again.

“Oh, _fuck off_!” Cody yells at his phone, as he scrolls past another ‘Cody’s old’ comment. He really shouldn’t admit how much he hates them because it just fuels the fire but… Cody’s not good at keeping a poker face, nevertheless one on the internet. Everyone can read his emotions- Cody’s surprised that Noel doesn’t know that he has a huge crush on him just based on the fact that Marcus has to tell him every day to stop making heart eyes at him.

Or maybe Noel knows that Cody likes him and he’s just ignoring it because he doesn’t like Cody back… But that’s a thought Cody doesn’t even want to address, so he keeps it in the back of his mind.

He’s about to give up and switch over the News app, before one comment makes him choke over the coffee in his mouth and makes him cough until he sees stars.

_Brendon-And-Hayleys-Chemical-Romance-With-The-Twenty-One-Fall-Out-Boys: yoooo… isn’t noel ho-el killer?! or am i losing my mind???_

And it’s not the hideous username that sends him into a brief panic, although… that username is rough. It’s the fucking comment, one that he deletes as soon as he regains his composure.

He prays that Noel didn’t see it. And he wonders if Noel would say anything about it if he did.

* * *

Cody’s never been to Noel’s place before, but whatever he expected wasn’t what he walked into. Again, _not_ that he believed that there would just be porn equipment everywhere with crazy cameras and lights but… okay 1) he sort of did and 2) Noel’s apartment is so homey. And girly. He’s about two seconds away from making a cheap ‘haha gay’ joke about it, until he sees a line of polaroids of Noel and another woman by where the TV is.

“ _Girlfriend_?” Cody legitimately squeaks, looking around for like… he doesn’t know. Something pink??? Or a pair of high heels???

“What?” Noel asks, looking behind his shoulder from where he’s hanging his jacket to see Cody looking all around the living room like a crazy person.

On one hand, Noel’s so hot that it’s unrealistic for him to be single. On the other hand, all Noel talks about is watching porn ( _WATCHING_ ) and playing video games when he’s not filming sketches or working. And on that same hand, Cody’s not sure if any girlfriend would approve of their boyfriend fucking other dudes, even if it was for porn. _Girls are just like that_ , he thinks.

“I just, I just didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Cody says, pointing to the polaroid pictures strung up. Noel, he just laughs and shakes his head. “Nah, that’s not—that’s my best friend, she’s my roommate.”

“Are you sure she’s not in love with you?” Cody asks, referring to this one picture, where Noel and his friend are grinning at the camera in graduation gowns. She’s got her face pressed to his, and Cody is insanely jealous.

“I think life would be a lot easier if Aleena were in love with me, considering the fact that the both of us were bullied for being gay in high school,” Noel says wryly, a small and bitter smile on his face and Cody winces. “Oh… shit. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Noel says in a voice that even a dumbass like Cody can recognize is strained. “It’s in the past and shit. Doesn’t really matter anymore.”

He hides his face behind his refrigerator door as he searches for some beers. “We both moved out here together after college even though we sort of gave all of our family a false sense of security.”

“But you are bisexual,” Cody says, and it’s not a question but he phrases it like one. “So why not… I mean, can’t you just… I don’t know what I’m really saying. I mean, no one in your school had to know, you know? Why, were you in the GSA or—”

“Unfortunately,” Noel says, and he sets two bottles on the counter. He opens them with the hem of his shirt, and he slides one over to Cody, who takes it gratefully. If this conversation carries on and they start talking about sexuality and shit, he’s gonna need one. “Well, not unfortunately. GSA is just full of stupid theatre kids… and then there was Aleena and me.”

“I wasn’t in GSA,” Cody says, chugging down half of his drink, wincing as he does since it burns a little. “I wasn’t… _outwardly_ homophobic, but y’know. I just let that shit sit in my chest. And then all of my friends ending up being gay so all of those years of self-hatred were worthless.”

“You can’t tell me that all of your friends are masc,” Noel says with his eyebrows raised and Cody shrugs. “I think I’m the twink out of them. Marcus—“

“ _Marcus_?! He’s gay?!” Noel almost spits his drink out, and Cody grins. “Dude. Your gaydar sucks if you don’t think Marcus is gay.”

“Also, yeah. You’re a twink,” Noel says as a side comment, something that goes and comes, but Cody seriously almost pukes at the thought of Noel agreeing at the thought of that. But puking with excitement. Which is something that Cody does, by the way.

“But wow… you’re so open about it, I didn’t think…” Noel trails off, shrugging. “I’ve always accepted the bisexual thing. My first kiss was with a guy, it felt wrong to just dismiss it even though I could have. Plus, I kind of liked GSA even though I ragged on it a lot. I just fucking hate RENT. You try sitting through ‘La Vie Boheme’ every single Wednesday.”

“I don’t…? Know what that is actually,” Cody says, and Noel sighs. “God I wish that were me. It’s basically about a bunch of broke people in New York City and some of them have AIDs and most of them are gay. Except for Mark, the main character, so, naturally, because this is GSA, everyone believed that Mark was trans. Then Roger, who’s Mark’s best friend and who’s also an ex-musician, everyone believed that Roger—“

“How about we just watch RENT?” Cody interrupts him. “Because your explanation sucks ass and if you didn’t like RENT you probably wouldn’t have brought it up and proceeded to talk about it for 2 minutes.”

This is Cody trying to be flirty. It works amazingly.

The movie isn’t that great but Cody enjoys it mostly because he can see Noel have to hold back singing along. And when Cody cries when Angel dies, he turns to Noel, and Noel’s crying too, and they laugh about the absurdity of it all.

“I thought you hated this movie,” Cody says, wiping his eyes after Collins finishes singing the reprise of “I’ll Cover You” and Noel shakes his head as he buries his head in his hand and he says through a sob, “I do, this is sort of why.”

It’s not a date, but it’s certainly something, drinking together as they cry their way through the rest of the movie. And when Cody has to take an Uber back home, Noel pays for it, saying that it was his fault for making them watch such an emotional movie. So, there’s that. No kiss, no hug, but money for an Uber ride home… which means so much to Drunk Cody that he pukes with excitement once he’s home. Or that might be the drinks.

* * *

Cody’s in bed watching an episode of New Girl when Devon and Marcus barge in and jump into his bed. Cody would look up and demand for them to leave if this wasn’t an occurrence that happened daily. He just pauses his episode and waits for them to say whatever they have burst into his room to say.

“So, do you want the short story or the long story?” Devon asks.

Cody just rolls his eyes. “You’d give me the long story anyways. Spill.”

“So, Marcus and I were searching for a video to watch so we can reenact it,” Devon begins explaining. “Because watching porn is fine by yourself but so much hotter with someone else.”

“Honestly. Devon and I fuck best after we’ve watched something,” Marcus says earnestly. Cody rolls his eyes again. “Okay, continue. Or shit, wait, is—“

“WE STUMBLED UPON A NOEL VIDEO!” the two of them yell at the same time, and they laugh hysterically when they see Cody’s horrified expression.

“FUCK YOU GUYS?!!??!” Cody shouts, actual anger coursing through his veins upon seeing the two of them laugh harder. “That’s not fucking funny! Did you watch it?!”

“Dude, of course not,” Marcus says, through a smile since he’s still laughing a little, and he clasps a hand on Cody’s shoulder. “That’d be like sleeping with your best friend’s boyfriend. But not since you guys aren’t together. By the way, how’s that going?”

“Horrible, you sit with us at lunch every day and see that it’s not going anywhere so why—” Cody tries to say, but he’s foaming at the mouth and can’t form correct sentences. He’s furious about Devon and Marcus laughing about Noel’s side career, furious about them _watching it._ “Seriously. Fuck you guys.”

“Fuck us for what? We’re not making fun of him! It’s just, it’s just funny! And the fact that you still haven’t told him!” Marcus defends himself and his boyfriend, but Cody isn’t having any of it.

“Watching him fuck other dudes for porn is funny to you?! And of course I didn’t tell him yet, I can’t ever do that.”

“Hey!” Devon throws his hands up. “We didn’t actually watch it! And if you feel so goddamn guilty about it, you might as well tell him. Rip that Band-Aid off, because you clearly are driving yourself crazy about it.”

“I’m not _… driving myself crazy_ ,” Cody crosses his arms. “Fuck you guys. Maybe I will tell Noel. But it won’t be because of anything you guys said.”

“He’s too stubborn for his own good,” Marcus says to Devon, shaking his head and speaking like Cody isn’t two feet away from him. Cody kicks him in his stomach and he yells at two of them to leave his room so that he can sulk in peace.

And sulk he does. But he makes a promise to himself- he’s going to tell Noel that he knows about Ho-el Killer by the end of the week.

He’s got five days to psyche himself up.

* * *

In the end, he doesn’t even make it to three.

Cody and Noel are standing and leaning against the railing on Noel’s fire-escape and they’re not high anymore, but there’s still something lingering in the air. It makes Cody a little dizzy, and he’s afraid of heights, but there’s something calm and steadying in Noel’s voice and in his eyes that makes Cody feel safe. It’s incredibly corny but they’re standing on a fire-escape and overlooking a block of LA and they just finished passing a joint back and forth. They’re allowed to be corny.

“Dude, I’m telling you, Vine sucked in so many ways but Camp Unplug was the best,” Cody says, a permanent smile on his face. He gets really giddy when he’s high, especially with the strain that Noel offered. “They didn’t invite you because you’re too good for Vine. You would have stole the whole show.”

“This sounds like you’re flirting with me,” Noel teases, even though his voice is low and sexy, and it goes directly to Cody’s dick. His face suddenly feels hot, and he looks away from Noel when he says, “Shut up. Just paying you a compliment, not that you don’t get enough of those from my channel.”

“They all just call me Skinny Penis… because, ya know,” Noel says, and Cody doesn’t know what fucking possesses him, but suddenly his next sentence hangs in the air like smoke. “Yeah, I don’t know why you even made that Vine. Your dick is fucking huge.”

It hangs in the air like smoke but it doesn’t dissipate. Noel frowns, turning to look at Cody, who’s frozen in place. He doesn’t even think he can breathe. Everything stands still until Noel’s nervous laughter breaks it and everything around Cody unthaws.

“Dude… what?” Noel says, and Cody notices how his hands shake, how Noel’s face turns red with embarrassment. Noel knows that Cody knows. There’s nothing that Cody can do to convince him otherwise, so he just outs himself and says it.

“I, I have to, _to tell you something,”_ Cody says, feeling himself get choked up. “I meant to tell you, I swear, I-“

Noel’s guard, which has been down with Cody for so long that Cody forgot what it looked like, the tense shoulders and the monotonous look on his face and the crossed arms, comes back up. His voice is even, but Cody still notices how uncomfortable the expression in his eyes is, even if it’s for a flash of a second, since Noel looks straight ahead and away from Cody. “You fucking knew this whole time.”

“I meant to tell you, I promise, I didn’t mean for it to—“

“Since when did you find out?” Noel asks, still staring forward. If Cody were a more demanding person, more daring, he’d grab Noel’s face and make him look at him, let him see the guilt written over his face since his words aren’t doing it, but he just looks at Noel hopelessly.

“I watched this video before the first day of work but I swear I didn’t know it was you but if I’m honest I watched another video after we became friends but it was after, like, two days and—“

Noel interrupts him. “I think you should go.”

Cody reaches out to him, but Noel shrugs away. “Noel, please, just let me explain myself, maybe we can talk it out, or—“

“There isn’t anything to _talk out_ ,” Noel says, his voice shaking with anger. Or maybe with something else. Cody can’t tell. “Okay? Can you just leave?”

He doesn’t have to be told a third time, even though there’s the nastiest feeling in his gut telling him to run back and to tell Noel that he doesn’t care, that he doesn’t think any differently of him, that he really likes him.

But he doesn’t. He’s the same person he was back in high school. Afraid.

* * *

The next day at work is hell. And it’s not because Cody got barely any sleep, but that’s certainly a contender. He almost calls in sick and he almost quits work all together, but within Marcus’s rant to him this morning he said the word ‘coward’ and there’s no word Cody hates more than ‘coward’.

So, he goes to work. And Noel goes to work too. And they don’t say anything to each other, they don’t even make eye-contact. No waves, no loud yelling about a text that one of them sent each other, or a crazy comment that got a lot of likes on their new video. It’s dead silence from the time that Cody sits down.

Thankfully, that silence gets broken within ten minutes. Unthankfully, it’s by Jake, who sneers at the both of them. “What, you guys done gaying up the place? Thank God.”

Neither Cody or Noel reply but they make eye-contact for a brief second before they look away and continue their work.

* * *

After three days of hating himself and beating himself up for being The Worst Human Alive, he decides to do something to fix the problem. Or at least attempt to fix it. All Cody does is run away from problems, but Noel’s too important to him for him to want to run away. Noel is Noel, his other half of the comedy duo, one of his best friends, the person he goes on Starbucks runs with, the person he cries about RENT to, someone that, yes, originally was only attractive to Cody because of his looks, but now, Noel is attractive to Cody because of his horrible humor, because of the way that he defends Cody when Jake gets too annoying, because of who he _is_.

Two hours later and a speeding ticket that’s going to inevitably end up on his dining room table in a month, Cody rings the buzzer for Noel’s apartment. He hops from one foot to the other, the coldness from the parking lot seeping into his skin so he feels nervous.

“Who’s it?” Noel asks.

“Someone who made a stupid mistake and wants to make up for it?” Cody tries, silently praying to Angel from RENT that Noel opens the door him.

And Noel actually does. He can hear Noel curse under his breath before he presses the buzzer, and he both does and doesn’t hope that Noel heard Cody’s sigh of relief.

He makes his way up the stairs to Noel’s place, his right hand crying out in pain because of the coldness of the drink in his hand. His peace offering.

When he makes it to Noel’s floor, Noel’s waiting in front of his front door, the same guarded expression on his face, one that disappears when he sees what Cody holds in his hand.

One iced caramel macchiato and RENT on DVD.

“I got to experience your shitty Netflix connection first-hand and I hear you complain about it, like, every other day so… I figured that now you could watch RENT without a connection problem in the middle of ‘Tango: Maureen’” Cody says, handing the DVD case to Noel.

“Maureen cheated,” Noel sings under his breath, now with the song in his head, and Cody grins, finishing the lyric for him. “Fuckin’ cheated.”

“And I got you an iced caramel _yeah_ because… you know,” Cody says, handing Noel his drink. “I rushed here and almost ran over some little old lady because I didn’t want it to mix up and get bitter.”

“Thanks,” Noel says, and he can’t help his grin. “You know me too well.”

“Not really,” Cody says, unwrapping Noel’s straw for him, and he hands it over to him. “But I want to. Know you better, I mean.”

Noel sips on his drink, squinting at Cody a little like he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. “Really now?”

“Dude, yes. I ran around all of LA trying to find that DVD for you, they don’t really make them anymore. Nevertheless for… like, _RENT_ out of all things. And I want to apologize for being a shithead too.”

He takes a deep breath. “So. Yeah. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I guess it was one of those… y’know, like, it was going to get worse the longer I kept it from you, but I was a pussy and I couldn’t tell you because I felt so bad about it, and—“

“You don’t have to apologize,” Noel grumbles. “I’m the wrong one. I mean, our little fight I guess, that’s _my_ fault. The thought of you knowing kinda fucked me up a little bit.”

“But why?” Cody asks. “I’m not, like, whatever. I’m not judging! I don’t care about it, it doesn’t change the way that I feel about you or anything. What, you think I would judge you for it?”

“Well, knowing someone does porn as a side-career…” Noel trails off, making a shrugging motion. “It’s a shitty and sleazy job. I get it.”

“Yeah, but _I don’t care_ ,” Cody stresses. “I’m gonna say something stupid and you can ignore it if you want but… dude, I kinda have the biggest goddamn crush on you. Trust me. The porn thing didn’t and doesn’t change that.”

“You’re into watching me fuck other dudes?” Noel smirks, and Cody gives him an exasperated look when Noel laughs. “Noel, you piece of shit, I’m trying to have a moment right now and you’re ruining it.”

Noel, he looks around for a moment, before he just sets his coffee and the DVD on the hallway floor. And then he grabs Cody’s face and kisses him.

Cody flails around for a second there, so caught off guard, but _then_ , then he’s kissing back, smiling into it when Noel takes control and pushes him against the wall next to the door. It’s quick and in an instant they’re pulling away from each other, but they’re smiling goofily at each other and something in Cody’s cold and dead heart warms up a little. _So maybe Noel did like him back…_

“Wait,” Cody says, grabbing Noel’s arm since he’s moving away to open the door to his place. “Wait, hold on. We’re good?”

“Yeah,” Noel says. “I think so?”

“Can I suck your dick?” Cody asks, and Noel blinks at him. “Wait what?”

“Can I suck your dick,” Cody repeats, before he catches himself. “Wait, fuck. That’s not what I meant to say. Well, I do, I _do_ want to suck your dick, yeah, but— I’m just a little confused? We’re so open on my channel, you don’t hide your face or anything. So you’re not afraid of people finding out about who you are, but-“

Noel interrupts him, saying sheepishly, “Well… I didn’t give a fuck about what other people thought because I don’t care about them. But I only care when it’s someone that I really fucking like, you know?”

This is just about the most romantic thing that Cody’s ever heard Noel say, so he takes it gratefully, dragging Noel by the shirt collar to kiss him again. “Okay, _now_ can I suck your dick? I totally meant it that time.”

“Do you mind the taste of latex?” Noel asks, and Cody cocks his head to the side, a little confused. “Because I sort of… yeah. Don’t really know what the deal is. I haven’t gotten tested in a little while.”

“Oh! Oh, duh, of course, I’m an idiot. I can jerk you off then?” Cody asks, with the same level of enthusiasm that he asked with before, and with that being said, Noel drags the both of them into his apartment, slamming the door behind them. The sound makes Cody wince and he silently apologizes to Noel’s neighbors, but then Noel’s sliding a hand up Cody’s shirt and Cody’s rolling his head against the hard surface of the front door and then Cody doesn’t care anymore.

“The coffee,” Cody gasps as Noel presses a kiss right over this one spot that makes his knees buckle. “The coffee and the, and the DVD are still out there.”

“I don’t care about the—“ Noel tries to say, but then Cody gently pushes him away and narrows his eyes. “Oh, fuck off! I spent money on that!”

At the end of the day, Cody _does_ get his hand on Noel’s dick. In a way, Jake was right. Cody and Noel really do gay up every space they fill. They’re on the couch, the empty caramel macchiato cup lying on its side on the floor, and they’ve got RENT on DVD playing in the background. Not that either of them are really paying attention to it, though. Their angle is a little fucked up, but Cody’s jerking Noel off slowly, the pre-cum helping with the slide of Cody’s spit slick hand against Noel’s dick, and they’re making out in that slow ‘we’ve got the rest of our lives, we might as well take our time with this’  kind of way.

“I gotta say,” Noel says between sloppy kisses, “this is the gayest shit I’ve ever experienced. Between RENT and the obvious.”

“Hurry up and come, my favorite scene is coming up soon,” Cody laughs softly in Noel’s ear before he bites his ear-lobe, and Noel _does_ after Cody twists his hand a certain way. He comes with a choked off groan, a sound that Cody doesn’t recognize from any of the videos, and as Cody licks up the mess that coats his hand, another soft, glowing, and warm feeling fills his stomach at that thought- that Noel can be himself with Cody.

Or maybe that warm feeling is just Noel’s cum that he’s licking from his hand but that’s a really gross thought so he just… ignores that.

* * *

Two years pass in the time it took to read those words. There’s a lot of things that stay the same, like Marcus and Devon being annoying when it comes to Cody’s love life and Cody and Noel’s closeted love for RENT and everyone in Cody’s comment section liking Noel more than him. But overall, most things have  _changed_. Noel still makes money on the side, but it’s from the Patreon that he and Cody created for their podcast, and the two of them live together, and they’re actually _dating_. That, dating Noel, is no longer a fantasy in Cody’s head.

But on the subject of fantasies…

“So, I have a question,” Noel says, turning to look at Cody. He’s sitting next to him on their bed and he’s got a look on his face that Cody recognizes as _mischevious_. Cody just pauses the episode of New Girl that they’re watching, a nonverbal sign for Noel to keep talking.

“And I’m just gonna come out and say it,” Noel says. “So… here goes.”

“If this is a proposal… I don’t want it,” Cody crosses his arms. “Not here.”

“What? I wasn’t even gonna say that, what I was _going_ say was… do you still watch my old _videos_?”

Cody’s face immediately feels hot, and he looks away from Noel’s curious expression in a split second. They don’t have any rule that says Cody can’t, it’s nothing like that, Noel even told him that didn’t care if Cody watched them, but it’s something else to _admit_ it. “Uhhhhhh… maybe? What’s it to you, huh?”

“Besides it being me?” Noel says, teasingly, but then he goes back to being semi-serious. Cody’s wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and he does _not_ miss the way that Noel’s hand runs up his thigh until it’s resting right below Cody’s hipbone. “I was just wondering which video was your favorite.”

Cody almost gives himself whiplash, from how fast he turns to look back at Noel. “Oh… oh _fuck you,_ man!”

“Why?” Noel presses, and when he leans in to press a kiss to Cody’s neck, Cody doesn’t push him away. So, in a sense, Cody’s just playing mad. If Noel moves his hand over a couple of inches, he would be able to feel that Cody’s definitely not mad and he’s definitely turned on. “I was just gonna ask if there was that you wanted to reenact, but I guess—“

Cody interrupts whatever Noel has to say next with an obnoxiously loud moan. It’s high-pitched and whiny and embarrassing, but God. _Noel_. A video comes to mind immediately, one that he remembers watching back when he was still living with Devon and Marcus, one that he watched when Noel was out-of-town for whatever the fuck reason. He remembers closing his eyes and pretending he was the one begging, pretending he was the one that got to swallow everything that—

He makes another choked off noise just thinking about the video. He can feel Noel smirking against his skin and when he tries to open his mouth to tell Noel which one it was, he _physically can’t._ He just makes these pathetic noises.

“I really appreciate that,” Noel says, his voice suddenly transforming into something Cody can vaguely place and connect to different scenes in his videos. “But I’m gonna need actual words, I’m not fluent in ‘desperate whore’.”

“Wow, _fuck off_ ,” Cody laughs despite himself. “That was horrible. I thought you were good at dirty talk.”

“I followed a script,” Noel says, moving down the bed a little so that he’s level with the hem of Cody’s boxers, and Cody can hear the eye-roll in his sentence. “I’m trying here, okay. Come on, what video was it?”

It’s a little hard to think, with Noel’s hand wrapped around his dick and his mouth over his hipbone, pressing open-mouthed kisses that don’t feel like much but leave Cody wanting more, but he eventually finds his way. Keyword _eventually_ . “Okay, okay… fuck, basically… basically you had this guy riding you but you didn’t let him, like, move at first? He had to beg for it and god, _Noel_ , and-“

“Who’s Noel?” Noel asks in that same low voice, and Cody snaps out his haze for a moment. “Okay, wait, no, time out. I’m not calling you… _Ho-el_ in bed.”

“Okay, sorry,” Noel laughs. “You were so deep into it, I figured it would help.”

“Ho-el doesn’t turn me on,” Cody says. “ _You_ do. And Ho-el is a stupid name to cry out while getting fucked.”

“It’s fucking hilarious, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Noel says, and then he hooks a finger by the elastic in Cody’s boxers, pulling them down halfway to Cody's knees when Cody nods his consent. “But, continue?”

“You don’t know which one I’m talking about?”

“I do, but its hotter hearing you say it back to me.”

Cody's face feels all hot again, he feels hot all over, especially with the way that Noel’s staring up at him, and half of him wants to kick him in shoulder for saying that, but the other half of him just wants to rip all of Noel’s clothes off. And since it’s already heading in the latter’s direction, he just goes with it. “Okay… so after the guy comes and you don’t, you like… made him beg for your dick down his throat. I want that.”

And Cody gets that.

A whole lot of foreplay and fingers in Cody’s ass later, the both of them are naked and Cody’s neck is decorated with these bruises that’ll fade away in a couple of hours but look so good now. And Cody is in Noel’s lap, his thighs on either side of Noel’s body. And they’re killing him with how much they hurt, being stuck in this position.

“ _Noel_ ,” Cody’s head is thrown back and he racks his brain for new ways of saying ‘ _please fuck me until I’m drooling and don’t remember my first name. Because I’ve already forgotten my last name at this point’._ “Please, come _onnnnnn_ , don’t you want it too?”

“I can wait,” Noel says smugly. Even though he knows Noel and knows that Noel’s close. “I’m not in any rush. I don’t think you deserve it.”

“Why the fuck not?!” Cody shouts, a little out of character, but he’s still got the spirit because he goes back to begging in an instant, when he feels the head of Noel’s dick against his hole, just pressing there. “Okay, okay, fuck, okay. Baby, _please_ , I want you so fucking bad that I can’t, I can’t even form a fucking sentence, literally everything in my head is like ‘NOEL!’ and I’m like ‘I need to beg harder but I need words to do that’ and—oh my God, your dick is legitimately making me crazy, please, I want it to bad.”

Noel grins up at him and with one hand, he pulls Cody in for a kiss. And even though that’s really _not_ what Cody wants right now, he smiles into it and kisses him back and just hopes that everything he’s feeling inside transfers, all of the desperation and shit. And it works because then Noel’s telling him that he can move, and that he should be happy that Noel decided to take pity on him (and God, is Cody thankful).

Noel doesn’t put in any work which is the worst part, but it’s all part of what Cody wanted, what he asked for, so he isn’t angry about it, even though his thighs are. Noel’s a little more lenient than ‘Ho-el’ but this is Cody, who literally can’t handle being put under the pressure of _‘if you come, I’m not gonna let you for the next week, so you better not’._ Cody fucks himself on Noel’s dick until he’s panting and his thighs are on fire and he’s begging Noel to touch him, to let him come.

 _“Oh my God,”_ Cody moans, unashamedly sounding like all of the moans that Noel mimics on their podcast. Because Noel can make fun as much as he wants but he’s not feeling this, how amazing it feels every time Noel’s dick hits Cody’s prostate. “Noel, Noel, please touch me please let me come, please-“

It’s a little embarrassing but as soon as Noel even touches Cody’s dick, he comes. His nails dig into Noel’s shoulders and he leans his forehead against the headboard and his entire body shakes with it, especially since Noel’s still inside of him and the overstimulation and the feeling of just Noel inside of him makes him delirious.

“I didn’t come,” Noel says after a minute of letting Cody catch his breath, in the same dominant voice that makes Cody’s mouth water. “Are you going to prove useful to me and do something about that?”

He peels the condom off of himself as Cody situates himself on the floor next to the bed and in a second, Noel’s standing over him and jerking himself off, laughing lowly at the way that Cody stares at his cock with a peaked interest. Cody’s eyes are half-lidded and he knows he looks a little worse for wear, sweat causing the hair around his forehead to become stringy and gross, but he hopes he looks fuckable enough for Noel in his ‘Ho-el’ mindset to take pity on him again. “Noel, please, God, come down my throat, fuck my throat.”

“Why should I?” Noel asks, his voice hitching a little, breaking character as he continues to jerk himself off. “Think I wanna come all over your fucking face instead.”

“Please,” Cody groans. “I want your… your _come_ , okay, fuck, I wanna taste you.”

He shifts a little closer on his knees, and he leans into Noel’s touch when Noel’s hand snakes into his hair and he pulls him closer.

“Fine,” Noel says, the tone of his voice bored. “Go ahead, do what you do best.”

 _‘Oh, FUCK OFF’_ is right at the tip of Cody’s tongue… but pre-cum coats it instead as he sucks the tip of Noel’s dick into his mouth, so he just shuts up and does what he begged to do. Suck Noel’s dick. In no time, because they’re impatient and horny like that, Noel’s dick is down Cody’s throat and Cody’s choking over it. For a split second, Cody wonders what his high school self would think about this. An older version of himself kneeling with a dude’s dick shoved down his throat. But it’s not some random dude, it’s Noel, it’s his _boyfriend,_ so then Cody can’t really bring himself to care about what his younger self would think about it.

“G-gonna, gonna come,” Noel stutters, his hand curled in Cody’s hair tightening. “Don’t fucking move.”

Cody can’t talk, obviously, because of the dick in his mouth but he hopes that the tears in his eyes speak for themselves- _there’s no fucking way in hell I would move._ He hums his appreciation for that idea, of Noel coming down his throat, and with that, Noel comes, the hand in Cody's hair tightening and his hips stilling after moving at a brutal pace.

It’s hot and heavy in Cody’s throat and he sputters on it a little when Noel lets him breathe after, lets him catch his breath, but when he looks up at Noel and grins, Noel smiles back.

“Dirty slut,” Noel says lovingly, leaning down to pat Cody’s face and Cody rolls his eyes. “Fuck off. My throat is gonna be sore for a whole fucking day, shit.”

“Worth it?” Noel asks, getting down on his knees to kiss Cody, and Cody nods, still a little dazed. “ _Fuck yeah_.”

And as Noel helps him to his feet and then laughs when Cody sort of tumbles back down because his legs have given out, and as Noel hands Cody his glasses back so they can go back to resuming the episode of New Girl that’s been paused the entire time, Cody thinks back to two years ago. About being scared about telling Noel the truth and about feeling hopeless about his dumb crush on him _._ And then he thinks about the _now_ and the lazy kisses between putting their clothes back on and laughing about washcloths with cum on them. And he feels pretty fucking happy. Who knew he would fall in love with the guy behind Ho-el Killer?

**Author's Note:**

> you know i had to add in a lot of parts about pre-cum 
> 
> ANYWAYS please leave a kudos or comment if you think this is sugar gay!! this was so much fun to write, esp the part where i roasted RENT because IRL i was literally like that one kelsey vid like i was lip syncing to 'light my candle' so hard that my face hurt lmaoooo. COLD HANDS, YOURS TOO, BIG LIKE MY FATHERS DO YOU WANNA DANCE, WITH YOU, NO. WITH MY FATHER, IM ROGER. 
> 
> and actually most of this fic was me roasting myself. also lemme know if anyone wants me to write a GSA AU?? because i have one about 69% planned out


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